Heat, Bloat and Light Dept.
Bloat Section.

Mega$loth Blob

Mega$loth® Blob

A Psychological Examination

by Prof. Hubert E.G. Bampot, Glasgow University.

Assessment of Intelligence

What Mega$loth® BlobTM actually does.

When we examine Mega$loth® BlobTM closely, we find that his phrenological index is 1, and that his head appears to be perfectly spherical. However, a disturbing feature is the fact that the brain space as measured on a line from the centre of his eyes to the center of his ears; and we have only his spectacles as a guide; is at about the same proportion as that of a dog. This would seem to indicate that he would be easily led, and whilst he would be able to undertake a number of tasks in a predictable way, he would be unlikely to add any contribution of his own.

My assessment of BlobTM is that he is a product of a strange and ruthless intelligence, being designed to lure his unsuspecting followers into believing that the computer system he works on is friendly and cooperative. A new twist on the 'man bites dog' theme - 'dog leads man'!

A very disturbing feature of BlobTM is his ability to enlarge himself at roughly six-monthly intervals; this enlargement being directly proportional to both the number of users he influences, and the profits of the Mega$loth® Corporation.

The time-lapse photograph reveals that BlobTM is also capable of changing his shape each time he enlarges himself. This is very disturbing, and I will be hoping to issue a supplementary report once I have added another 64MB of memory, and a 16GB hard disk to my computer, and upgraded its operating system.

Bloat Index

Phundria Main Index