Jings! Crivvens! Help Ma Boab! Dept.
Phundria has put together some extracts from:
2215, 13/04/98 Reporter No. 27 South, Ayr:
A large creature arrived earlier today at Prestwick International Airport on flight MSW98 direct from Seattle, USA, allegedly bound for Edinburgh Zoo. The creature, of simian appearance, subsequently escaped from its cage while the software for the computer controlled lock was being reinstalled. It is also believed to have taken a leather suitcase and violin which had arrived on the same flight. It was later seen boarding a Glasgow-bound train at the airport station.
2240, 13/04/98 Report from British Transport Police,
Scottish Area - Message from Railway Control Office, Glasgow:
Staff at Kilwinning station advise that a passenger has been put off the 2213 ex Ayr train for refusing to pay his fare. Revenue Protection Inspector reported that the reason for refusal was that the currency requested for the ticket was not compatible with the currency held by the passenger. Passenger threw $100 bill at RPI, then ran off before his name or address could be obtained. Passenger is described as male, of Southern European appearance, heavily built and around 150kg in weight, wearing a dark suit and wide-brimmed hat, and carrying a leather suitcase and violin. Speaks with a heavy American accent.
0825, 14/04/98 Report from Strathclyde Police,
Staff at the Union Street branch of City Bakeries report that a large American gentleman had purchased and eaten their entire stock, and paid for it with $2000 in US currency. No apparent crime had been committed, but ever since entering the details of the transaction into their computer controlled till, the device has reported that their stock is out of date or missing, despite being replaced.
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