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Small Order of the Boot
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The Scottish Office ministers to its Friends

Secretary of State for Scotland - Rt Hon Michael Forsyth MP. We're afraid to say very much about him - he can get quite angry, as his majority's so low, and he wants to get back in. Besides, he's just fallen out with Stephen Dorrell, and might end up falling out with John Major! So far, only Dorrell's got shafted! We're rooting for Michael.

Minister of State - Lord James Douglas-Hamilton MP, responsible for Health, Social Work, Home Affairs and Roads and Transport. Lord James will be the House of Commons spokesman on Arts and Historic Scotland. His Ministerial title is: Minister for Home Affairs, Health and Pre-prepared Scripts.

Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - George Kynoch MP, responsible for Industry (including Planning and Water. Mr Kynoch will also have general responsibility within the Scottish Office for Deregulation and the Private Finance Initiative. He will be the House of Commons spokesman on Forestry and the Environment. His Ministerial title is: Minister for The Destruction of Indigenous Industry and Local Government.

Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - Raymond Robertson MP, responsible for Education (including Training), Housing and Urban Policy, Fisheries and Sport. Mr Robertson will be the House of Commons spokesman for Agriculture. His Ministerial title is: Minister for Education, Housing and Fisheries. Confusing, isn't it. This is because we don't have enough MPs.

Parliamentary Under Secretary of State - The Earl of Lindsay, responsible for Agriculture, Rural Affairs, Natural Heritage (Environmental Protection), Forestry, the Arts and Historic Scotland. Lord Lindsay will be the House of Lords spokesman on all Scottish Office affairs. His Ministerial title is: Minister for Agriculture, Forestry and the Environment. Only the Scottish Conservatory & Unicorn Party puts unelected placemen in charge of you. Just like the old days!

Scottish Law Officers

The Rt Hon Lord Mackay of Drumadoon is the Lord Advocate, the principal law officer of the Crown in Scotland. Beside his role in the system of public prosecution, he is the Government's legal and constitutional adviser on Scottish affairs.

Mr Paul Cullen QC, the Solicitor General, is the Lord Advocate's deputy, just in case he's busy.

The Lord Advocate and Solocitor General are Ministers in their own right and are independent of the Secretary of State for Scotland, but they always do what he says anyway.

Know Thine Enemy Dept.

SCOTTISH CONSERVATORY & UNICORN MEMBERS OF PARLIAMENT

Aberdeen SouthRaymond Robertson MP
AyrPhil Gallie MP(Small Majority)
DumfriesRt Hon Sir Hector Monro MP
EastwoodAllan Stewart MP'The Axeman'
Edinburgh PentlandsRt Hon Malcolm Rifkind QC MP
Edinburgh WestLord James Douglas-Hamilton MP'Paper Brain'
Galloway & Upper NithsdaleRt Hon Ian Lang MP'Dracula'
West Aberdeenshire & KincardineGeorge Kynoch MP
North TaysideBill Walker MP
StirlingRt Hon Michael Forsyth MP(Small Majority)

The Party for people like you run by people like us!
Each of the 72 Scottish Constituencies has a Conservatory & Unicorn Association made up of local members of the Party. The local Association affiliates to the Scottish Conservatory & Unicorn Association. Each local Association is responsible for selecting candidates for Parliamentary and Local Government elections. The Associations are responsible for campaigning and fund-raising within their constituency. It's all very confusing really. Oh well, we only hold 10 out of the 72 seats, so it doesn't really matter.

If you wish to contact the Scottish Conservatory & Unicorn Party in your local constituency please telephone:- 0131 555 2900
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