The New Labour® Government is proud to announce that the heavy old Ministerial Red Boxes are now going to be replaced by portable computing technology of the highest order.
It is understood that these will be Mega$loth® Windoze® '95 portable computers, and the documents will be stored in Weird® format.
This should make for even bigger Acts of Parliament than ever before!
Access to each Red Box will be extremely secure. Each Government Minister will be issued with an exclusive Mega$loth® Plug and Play® Band-of-Gold® Signet Ring encoded with a unique Mega$loth® 1 MB Ministerial Identification Cypher. In addition, a Mega$loth® ScotlandYard® fingerprint analyser will be fitted as a double check. Maintenance access to the Red Boxes will be confined to Home Office Department Q, and Mega$loth® UK Ltd's Political Security Division. This will maximise the secure availability of each Red Box.
This should make for much more secure Acts of Parliament than ever before!
A spokesman for Mega$loth® UK Ltd stated that, as a result of this initiative, all future British Acts of Parliament would also be Act of Congress® compatible.
[Phundria awaits (with bated breath) the first ever British Act of Parliament to incorporate a General Protection Fault.]
That's not so likely now, given the latest news!
Look out here for more information as white-hot technology marches inexorably forwards once again!
17th May 1998
Guess what - according to a recent Usenet posting, the Government has abandoned their computerised Red Boxes after a few weeks - apparently they were too hard to use and slower than good old paper. Score: Commonsense 1, Bloatware 0.
10th July 1998
We now hear that they're trying again, with a mysterious A5 sized thingy weighing 3 lbs. If anyone knows more, please tell us.
