The Scottish Conservatory & Unicorn Party
Welcome to the Scottish Conservatory & Unicorn Party's homepage. We hope you
will find your visit a rewarding one for us. We will do anything for
money, so if you have particular needs you feel we can help with, we will
be happy to put you in touch with someone who can help. For a fee,
naturally.
Who are We?
We are those awfully nasty people who:
- Brought you the Poll Tax. You always come in handy when we want to
experiment. Imagine having a whole country to play with!
- Seek to rule you in a colonial manner. You're the only colony we've got
left, and devolution would destroy that status. We're not going to let you
run your own affairs - so there! Imagine how we'd feel if you did it better
than us.
- Need your oil revenues more than you do. Keeping wages down means
keeping unemployment up, and that costs an awful lot of money if you
include England!
- Want to abolish waste in the Public Sector so we can privatise it. Then
we can indulge in profligacy - profligate salaries for the directors. That
way we can ensure they vote Conservatory, and (privately) donate large sums
to the party so they don't have to declare it in their company accounts. And
if we lose our seats, they'll always keep top jobs open for us to go to too!
- Let rich foreigners and wealthy folk buy up your country estates. We'll
let anyone in if they've got money. That way they'll dilute your culture and
put you in your place.
- Voting for the Scottish Conservatory & Unicorn Party means an awful lot
to us. Do it - or else!
The Unicorn - the real power over Scotland.
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