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John Major's Sponsors

Phundria is proud to be the first to reveal that John Major is receiving sponsorship from a number of companies in his attempt to retain his title as 'Champion Crapitator of England'. He has a different title in Scotland, which our editorial policy forbids us to print.

Unreal Foodstuffs Dept.


We apologise for the size of the graphic for 'Parliamentary' SLEAZE® - but it really is a monstrous product. Designed to be fed to the masses, this product has benefited from the astonishing developments in food technology that have come about since the supply of animal feedstuffs was de-regulated in 1983.

SLEAZE® contains lots of things - the residues of a great many things in fact - but it doesn't have to reveal all of its contents on the tin. The details were temporarily registered in the MAFF Foods Register but were removed after 14 days. One thing we can guarantee - you won't find any Integrity in it.

Provided the Conservatory Party is re-elected, the producers of SLEAZE® confidently predict that it will reduce the demand for graveyards by 50% by the end of 1999.

[Phundria hopes that, when another party assumes power, SLEAZE® will be permanently withdrawn from the market.]

Small Tin of SLEAZE
The full-size image (34kB)

SLEAZE® is manufactured by the Smith, Hamilton, Greer and Grylls Corporation.

SLEAZE® is supporting the Conservatory Candidate in the interests of self-preservation.

Perplexing Technicalities Dept.

Mega$loth Software Corporation
Extract from Mega$loth® Press Release dated 3/21/97 2:30pm

Extract ends

Optional Self-Delusion Dept.

Extract from M$ Press Release dated 3/25/97 11:30am

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* Phundria was looking forward to searching the Web with IE for the pros and cons of a visit to Scunthorpe. Maybe we'll go to the East Neuk of Fife instead!

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